Fastest Time To Drink A 24-Ounce Can Of Beer While Having Crotch Drummed On

Back at you, hippie.

Fastest Time To Drink A 24-Ounce Can Of Beer While Having Crotch Drummed On

Bring it, Popeye.

Fastest Time To Drink A 24-Ounce Can Of Beer While Having Crotch Drummed On

Sounds like we've got a good, old fashioned East Coast/West Coast crotch-drumming rivalry on our hands. And it's not going to stop until we're both dead and one of us shows up at Coachella as a hologram.

Stick the dismount next time and maybe you'll take my crown. Until then, keep practicing.

Fastest Time To Drink A 24-Ounce Can Of Beer While Having Crotch Drummed On

Well, I hate to be asshole at the crotch-drumming party, but if you watch the current record holder's video (yes, I am referring to myself in the third person -- that's what champions do), in addition to being struck by how well dressed the gentleman is, you'll also notice how he took the time to check the can and polish off the remaining "foam". Now, I don't know how they do things up there in Washington state, but back here in reality we follow the rules, son. And a foamy can is not an empty can. Ergo, the record does not stand. Better luck next time, hippie. Oh, and do some laundry for God's sake.

Most Times Slapping Someone In The Face In One Minute

I know I'm coming into this arugment about a year late, but I have to defend my record. Suggesting that slapping one person in the face repeatedly is the same as being slapped by multiple audience members is like trying to compare cricket and baseball. If Streeter wants to see how many open handed slaps he can take from an incited crowd of embittered women, I'll be happy to beat that record.